Saturday, May 19, 2007

Holly drives, I feel changed

Holly has driven three times on her own. She took herself to her babysitting job one day. She delivered something to a friend for me and hung out a little while. But last night she really drove by herself. It was different.

Yesterday afternoon she asked if her friend Sierra might could come over. They had planned to go to an 8th grade dance together, but because Holly doesn't go to school there it was a no-go. Turned out, though, Sierra was watching her little brother. So Holly wanted to go hang around with Sierra and help.

We got the other mom's okay, and then it happened: Holly got the keys and started to leave. And it felt wrong and scary to me. Not scary like something might happen to her; she's careful, and it was an easy drive on six-lane roads at 35 mph in town, Juan Tabo and Montgomery.

What seemed wrong was she didn't need me, and what seemed scary is I don't have any little kids anymore.

It might sound silly but the feelings were strong. When Kirby first drove, I still had two little kids. When Marty first drove, I had experience watching a kid leave, and I still had Holly. Now... Now I'm expendable. Yikes!


kelli said...

I bet that is a scary feeling. Abbi just asked me last night what I was gonna do when they all move out. I kind of stammered...I know I'll miss them.

Paige said...

That last little duckling growing up is scary, huh? :-) I can only imagine the feeling.

Rest assured: You are not expendable...not to us (your friends/fans/readers), and never, ever to your kiddos.