Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Silver Bells: Twenty-Five Years of Marriage

A friend I've known through the SCA for over 30 years posted this on Facebook yesterday:
Homework assignment

I have a homework assignment (due today - how's that for late).

I need to have people list what they think a loving relationship (read committed relationship) needs to be successful.

My response probably got to her too late for her class, but here's what I wrote:

Tomorrow is my 25th Anniversary. I can tell you some of the things that have definitely helped me and Keith ("Gunwaldt," to some of those here):
generosity

patience

courtesy (we've always said "please" and "thank you")

If each person gives 50%, it won't work.
Each has to aim to give 80-100%

Today I'm going to be scanning, uploading and entering notes and images from our wedding 25 years ago. SandraDodd.com/wedding

26 comments:

Hilaree said...

Hi there, Sandra...I'm new to your blog, although I've definitely HEARD of you... :) I'm an unschooling mom in NH and just wanted to say hello - and Happy Anniversary! What a lovely accomplishment. Hubby and I have been married for 13 years. I agree with you about the 80-100%. I also think that trust is huge - especially trusting that the other person is doing the best that they can. We can only change ourselves. Thank you for your blog and for your continued voice for unschoolers!

zamozo said...

Happy Anniversary Sandra and Keith! You're an inspiration to many in many ways!

kelli said...

Happy Anniversary Sandra and Keith, you're a great couple, here's to another 25! :)

I hope Keith is feeling better soon.

Tammy said...

Happy Anniversary to you both!! We will raise our glasses and wish you another happy 25!!!

gail said...

Wishing you a very happy 25 years....Broc and I are both so glad we met you both. Your relationship is an inspiration to us. Hope Keith is feeling better soon.

Robyn L. Coburn said...

Congratulations Sandra and Keith. Sandra, you looked like a fairy princess at your wedding. Your hair is still magnificent. Best wishes for more.

Robyn L. Coburn said...

Oh dear - careless syntax.
That "more" meant to refer to happy years, not as it seems,hair!

Lauren said...

Happy Anniversary Sandra & Keith!

I'm a better wife (AND mother) because of you.

Thanks for all you do.

Eileen Smithdeal said...

Thanks for sharing these with us!

Sandra Dodd said...

Thanks, all!
Robyn, on behalf of all the long-ago wedding party, we would ALL love to have more hair, as we once had! Please don't retract that happy wish for us.

Thanks!

Stephanie said...

Happy Anniversary!
My husband and I will be married 16 years on Friday and we have been together over 20 now.

I would add trust, respect and laughter to that list.

A sense of humor is very important in our relationship. We are also best friends :)

Congratulations and here's to many more anniversaries!

Stephanie said...

I hope Keith feels better fast.

FLO said...

Happy Anniversary!! Your wedding photos are beautiful.

Kathleen said...

Happy Anniversary! I love the photos

Tracy said...

Happy Anniversary! I love the 80-100% rule.

One that I would add is to never "assume" you know what the other is thinking. Maybe you do, but it is a surprise how often you are wrong... or their mind is going in just a little different direction than you imagined. Asking always leads to more communication and better understanding -- even after all these years.

Heather's Moving Castle said...

Happy day to you both! Love the photos! You look the same. :o)

The advice I wish I was better at for a happy marriage is to flirt with each other every day and make each other feel special. Do the little things that matter. I try to flirt, but it doesn't always come natural to me.

Glenda said...

Happy Anniversary Sandra & Keith! I hope your hubby is feeling better today.

I love all the wedding photos you posted, but especially the big one.

Wishing you many more years together :).

paxye said...

Oh my! so beautiful!!

Happy anniversary to both of you!

Ruth said...

Happy anniversary :)

Meghan said...

Happy anniversary!
I love your photos and your response :D

Deanne said...

Happy Anniversary! Lovely pictures. Thanks for sharing them, and your stories with us all.

Alex Polikowsky said...

Happy aniversary!!!!!!!!!! I loved your wedding photos but what a shock when I saw that picture of you and Keith holding hands in the botton (lloks like you are each going away from each other!!!!!!!!!
I even called Brian and put a cover over Keith and asked : Who is this??And he said: "you"!!!!!!!!
(meaning me).
We look the same in that picture... well when I was much younger!!!
Well I hope I can comemorate my 25 with Brian and have a loving and wonderful relationship like you and Keith have! It is inspiring for sure!111111111

Sally said...

Congrats, Dodds!
Your commitment to your marriage and to keeping peace in your home has helped me SO MUCH in the last year. Thank you!

Rinnyboo said...

Happy Anniversary (a little late!) Sandra and Keith!

You have given my family much inspiration in parenting and unschooling realms and also in regards to marriage. I wish you many happy years together!

Marin

Bo said...

Happy Anniversary, Sandra. I love the pictures, I looked at all of them. I especially loved the concept of your medieval wedding, I think I might want to do something like that as well one day. Through your union you brought 3 wonderful people into this world and I'm glad to call all of you my friends. To another 25 happy years!

Sandra Dodd said...

Thanks, Bo.
Now I feel guilty, because I got tired of scanning and never did get to the pictures of the medieval part of the wedding.

We had two weddings in one day--the regular one, and then the food with the little sandwiches and wedding cake, then a break and a medieval wedding and a medieval feast (with different wedding clothes, many of the same people in different clothes, and some different people.

Guests could choose to come to one wedding or the other or both.

I'll get the invitation in there sometime. The scanner isn't the fastest thing in the world and I'm impatient.