Wednesday, August 11, 2010

First Sign of Fall, and something about Holly

All alone, this object, outside a grocery store.

By the time I got my camera out, something else was arriving.

Those who have lived in New Mexico might know the answer. One more clue, by clicking the image at left.

Beginning Friday, I heard them say. The Albertson's near our house.

Holly and I were shopping today for oddments. We parked near a car and Holly pointed out that their dashboard was very decorated. I have two bad images, which is unfortunate. I should've taken my time but it was VERY hot, and people don't generally like other people messing with their cars in northern New Mexico (not that there are places where they DO, but... )

In the first photo the danglies from the mirror show, and the fangs of the snake. In the video you can see some other things, but not the snake so much. I don't know whether it was just sculpture or whether it was preserved posed plasticized rattle snake, I noticed when we passed the other side that in the cup of the snake's coil were two big crystals. Some combination of scary desert and new age dashboard tableau.

I figure someone with that much dangerous-looking stuff on display might be mean. So I told Holly she should get her purse of that [potentially mean person's] car.

And speaking of Holly, she's all grown up. Starting next week, she'll be working full time staying with a young unschooled girl whose mom died recently. Most nights, Holly goes to music performances, small sites, local or touring groups. She's busy.

Yesterday as she left for two different meet-ups and music-doings, she said she might not be back until mid-day the next day. Okay with us, thanks, have fun...

This morning she was home in bed. Not only in bed, but...

At the foot of her bed is the flat-screen TV she bought with her own money this week. It all rolls together to remind me of questions people ask about unschooled kids, about them being "more mature." I think with a different kind of parenting, and in the absence of school, something happens that transcends the idea of "maturity" itself. Many of the behaviors associated with "maturity" and "immaturity" and "acting like a teen" and all of that have to do with the strictures and manipulation traditional in mainstream families and school. "Act your age," or "You can do that when you're older," or "That's for babies," or "Why are you hanging out with little kids?" or "He's much too old for you." All that framework of judgmental noise from parents and friends and neighbors serves to remove a person's preferences and choices, in favor of doing just what will produce the least clucking and finger-wagging from others (or worse than noise, in the case of young boys).

Because we gave our children real opportunities to be responsible when they were young, they're trustworthy young adults. Because we didn't discourage childlike curiosity and play, Holly is willing to put her little pop-up play tent on top of her new twin bed and crawl in there to sleep on a night when she had the car and the possible intention of staying out all night with party friends.

It's not maturity or immaturity. It's a confident life full of choices.


Chrysanthemama said...

Green Chile!!!!!!!

Angie said...

I love the tent and the TV. Wonderful!