Saturday, July 09, 2011

Duck jokes

On Twitter, people are replacing words in famous quotes with "duck." That's fun, but Twitter isn't easy to search or read, and repeats started coming quite a bit. Those I saw the most were good ones, and obvious, and fun, though:

I did not have sex with that duck.
Houston, we have a duck.
You want the duck? You can't handle the duck.

My favorite was "Don't cast your ducks before swine." (Craig Good had contributed it; I don't know him.)

I played some I liked.
Send her victorious / Happy and glorious / Long to reign over us / God save the Duck

Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican duck.

For the benefit of Mr. Kite / there will be a duck tonight / on trampoline

What's in a name? That which we call a duck, By any other name would smell as sweet.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his duck for his friends.

But here at Sarah's house, at dinner we were brainstorming others. If you want to see what's happening at Twitter, it's here:!/search/%23replaceawordinafamousquotewithduck

Things from Sarah, Conchur, James, Julie and me, in various combos and singles:

If you can keep your duck while all around you are losing theirs...

♫ Don't you step on my blue suede duck

Joseph and his technicolor dream duck
I wore my duck of many colors...

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's duck.

Be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a duck.

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little duck, too!

♫ Ding dong the duck is dead...

♫ There is a green duck far away

♫ You're my brown-eyed duck.

♫ I will not cease from Mental Fight / Nor shall my Duck sleep in my hand...
(goes with:) How do you solve a problem like Maria/how do you hold a duck in your hand?

A medium-dry duck—shaken, not stirred

[We considered equal-time in potential offense of religions, but... gave up.]
Blessed art thou, oh Lord, who has not made me a duck.

There is but one G-d and Mohammed is his duck

For God gave his only begotten duck...

In the beginning was the word, and word was with God, and the word was duck.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the duck.

Rise, take up thy duck, and walk.

Give us this day our daily duck

Take, eat, for this is my duck

It is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a duck.
We hold these ducks to be self evident..., liberty and the pursuit of ducks

Duck will out
out, damned duck

I find you curiously attractive, young duck.

Music hath charms to soothe the savage duck.

We few, we happy few, we band of ducks.

♫ When the night is over, like a duck out of hell I'll be gone, gone, gone

♫ Hey (hey), you (you), get off of my duck.

♫ Baby, baby, where has our duck gone?

♫ Billie Jean is not my duck

♫ Oh daddy dear, you're still number one, but ducks just wanna have fun

The boy stood on the burning duck...

A fool and his duck are soon parted.

Do or do not; there is no duck.

If the duck fits, wear it.

For the want of a duck, the kingdom was lost.

♫ You change your mind / like a duck changes clothes.

♫ Blue moon, you saw me standin' alone / without a dream in my heart, without a duck of my own

♫ I don't care too much for money / Money can't buy me ducks

(I was taking notes by hand. There are more, but I need to go to sleep.)


Heather said...

omg...they are funny! Live free or duck!

Amy Jackson said...

To duck or not to duck, that is the question. :)