Wednesday, May 23, 2007

control and jealous craziness

Someone wanted to control me and this blog SO MUCH that when posting criticism didn't work to get me to change something, the anonymous commenter called the New Mexico Children, Youth and Families Department. Someone from the Differential Response Team contacted me (not the investigative team) but more on that in a bit.

The complaint was received that I had put my fifteen year old daughter's learner's permit on blogger.com and it had her address on it. (here)

I said it wasn't a learner's permit (which is a little blue piece of paper), but a real driver's license with a nice photo, but it was an image and not searchable by google, and I wasn't worried.

It was the job of the social worker to make sure I was aware of the potential dangers, and that Holly was safe. We had a long, pleasant conversation.


Someone who wanted to make me more afraid of the world just ended up wasting state funding and a social worker's time and my time to try to control me.

So about how I was contacted, that's interesting. The stated problem was that I had revealed the whereabouts of my house online. Yeah, I have a page with a map to it and a photo, too, but that didn't help. And I think anyone with google could get my address anyway, for knowing my husband's name, because we're listed in the phonebook. But with all that *DANGEROUS* exposure, the social worker left the contact letter on the wrong house. She left it stuck in the door at 2905 Tahiti STREET, not Court. The woman who lives there and I exchange mail when it's misdelivered, so she called me and I walked up there and got it, called the phone number on the letter, got a recording and left my phone number.

When people live openly and honestly, life is better. I use my real name, I don't post (or call state offices) anonymously, my children are happy and safe. Those who hide and fear are living in fear and hiding. Those who are spiteful tattlers trying to control other people should try controlling themselves better. Plant some flowers, start a collection, learn some new recipes, color your hair... —control your own environment. Hide if you want to, but don't try to make others hide. Be afraid if you want to be, but don't try to make others afraid just so you feel more justified.

The reason I wasn't afraid to call the social worker back was that our kids are safe and loved and not neglected or abused. They've all been to the dentist lately, two have orthodontia, they're all healthy and happy, they have their own rooms, Holly has 23 pairs of shoes (she just cleaned her room and was amazed, and most were given to her for her collection of 80's stuff, or were used one way or another)—when I was her age I usually had one pair of shoes, sometimes two. My mom drank, we didn't always have food in the house, and my parents smoked in the house like crazy. My kids' environment is pretty ideal compared to many. Yet an anonymous stranger wants me to change...

10 comments:

Kymma said...

You rock. :)

Jeff & Heather Williams said...

I'm sorry you have to deal with headaches like that. I enjoy reading your site, & if someone took more than two minutes to read your posts, it's quite obvious that your children are loved, nurtured, listened to, & prioritized! Thanks for your blog & your website...all have been so influential & inspiring in our journey with our son!

kelli said...

Wow, amazing. I can't believe someone would go to that much trouble.

Tracy said...

I always enjoy your take on life... and I especially appreciate hearing about how you handle crap like this. Thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom.

Glenda said...

The other commenters have already said what I was thinking, and then some =).

Kirby said...

Actually. I was moderetly worried at work about it, now I lawl as I think back.

Deanne said...

Thanks for being such a FEARLESSLY HONEST person! :) We could use a few more people like you around.

Jennifer said...

That's insane. Good take on it from your side though. But still who needs lame trouble makers around.

Oh, and I haven't been by in a while so this could be old news but I like the new blog layout; very clean and fresh.

Sandra Dodd said...

I changed the blog format because Schuyler changed hers! http://waynforth.blogspot.com/

I was having problems with photos being too wide, and when I saw she had figured out a way to make hers wider, I wanted to do it too!

Thanks, all, too, for the kind words about my day of frustration. I'll all better about it now, and really glad that I just called and found out what the deal was instead of worrying for days (while we were off at an SCA campout).

granola*girl* said...

goodness sakes... don't people have anything better to do than to harass the cool and amazing sandra?

get a life peeps!