Last weekend at the Good Vibrations Conference there were babies and toddlers of every charming sort and size and my mothering memories were stirred, and I kinda wanted a baby, and I missed having a baby, but when my leg started to spaz out on me that reminded me of being in labor (it was some serious pain Sunday and Monday), and I remembered to be extremely glad that I don't have any babies or toddlers, that all my kids drive and have plastic money-cards and that if I want to dope myself up and sleep for hours I can!
This is also a thing to be grateful about: I did speak in London, and spoke twice instead of once, even. And although I got tired easily (sore foot), I did a lot of walking in the U.K., and it was fun! And I fulfilled my moral and contractual obligations at Good Vibrations, all except that there might have been people who wanted books signed while I was off at the emergency room or whimpering in some corner.
Next week, orthopedic guy; maybe I'll get a shot. Week after that, physical therapist; who knows.
My point about priorities is that in the absence of children who need my immediate attention, helping other unschoolers seems to outrank going to the doctor for me. I didn't know that until this week. I'm not fishing for any "take care of yourself first" talk. I'm taking care of what's most important to me and THEN I'm going to the doctor. So far, good enough. They don't make any medicine that would help me with regret or sorrow about missing things I promised to do, and doctors are pretty boring compared to the lit-up faces of people who are connecting what I just said with something they were thinking inside already, or who just got a missing piece to a set of thoughts that will be a breakthrough for them and their kids. That is The Big Thing for me now.
(Gratuitous images have nothing to do with my leg.)